Monday, September 11, 2006

Snakes on a Plane!

Last night at about 9:00, Jason and I were on our local cinema's website and we noticed that what looked to be the final showing of Snakes on a Plane was on in half an hour. So we made a snap decision, bedtime be damned, to get out there and see this thing like it's meant to be seen. (Sorry Monique! It was an emergency viewing - now or never...) What did we think of it?

Atrocious script. Laughable plot. Horrible acting. Ridiculous editing mistakes. Horrendous CGI effects. Basically? IT WAS TOTALLY AWESOME! I mean, there were SNAKES! On the freaking PLANE! And they were angry! How could this possibly go wrong!?!

Some highlights:
*The first two bites were a lady's breast (as she was joining the mile high club) and a dude's junk (as he was peeing).
*A snake bit a fat lady's eye out.
*A lady goes for her air sickness bag and out comes a snake and bites her face off.
*A guy throws a socialite's purse dog - a chiuaua - to a snake to keep himself from getting bit.
*A few minutes later, a huge boa constrictor wraps around him and then fits the guy's whole head in its mouth.
*Samuel L. Jackson at one point asks a flight attendant for forks and knives to use as weapons and she pulls out a spork and says that's all they're allowed to have on board now. Get it?!? SPORKS on a plane!!!


Does anyone know the anti-venom for this one?!? I think its country of origin is The Republic of Banana.

10 comments:

Monique said...

Oh NO!
I was thinking maybe it was ending soon!
Glad you caught it though - we may have to try to see it on dvd - sounds hilarious!

The very nice man said...

Best film critique I've read in ages! Laughed a lot about your post and the snake picture!
Hope you got some anti-venom handy!

Beth said...

The more strange you get, the more I enjoy it! Keep up the good work! ;) And check out the DVD of Watermelon... it is SO Dublin I could hardly watch it.

Beth N said...

Is that a toe-sock? :)

Heather said...

I was put on this earth purely for the amusement of others so I'm glad to oblige.

beth n - I'm sorry to say that is not a toe sock. All my toe-socks were lost in the Great Move of 2004 :-)

Beth N said...

Tragic!

Bil With One L said...

Oh Thanks! You wrecked it for me... You could have at least considered adding a "SPOILER ALERT" to this posting. Now I won't be the least bit surprised when I see a snake bite the naughty bits off a pleasure traveler.

As far as an anti-venom... try Fabreze.

Heather said...

Bil - I love that you said "naughty bits". It's sooooo incredibly British :)

Aunt Sandy said...

Heather,
I am totally positive you have missed your calling!

Mom said...

Sandy, I have to agree with you! But don't you just love her!!!!