Since Jason doesn't travel all that much, I have to be honest and say that the first few days he's on a trip are usually somewhat of a novelty.
"Oooooh, I can eat cereal and M&M's for dinner if I want!!!"
"Eeeee, I get to watch America's Next Top Model in real time instead of recording it for later!!"
"Aaahhhh, I can read an entire issue of Vogue cover to cover without anyone poking me in the shoulder and asking me what I'm reading and why won't I pay attention to them."
"Ohhhhhh, I could spend all night on Net-a-Porter and Style.com looking at the New York Fashion Week coverage and all the designers' new collections without anyone telling me I have an unhealthy relationship with Marc Jacobs."
"I could watch an entire season of Felicity in bed if I so desired!"
"I could listen to Justin Timberlake on the Bose Dock non-stop!"
You see my point.
Those feelings last for all of about 2 to 3 days. Now that I've cultivated meaningful relationships with the staff at Hidden Dragon Chinese Delivery, the night manager at Papa John's, the lovely old man at the Lebanese deli, and the guy at Love Food (purveyor of one of the finest cups of Americano I've had outside of Italy), I would like to have my husband back please.
I've read till my brain can't read no more. I can tell you anything you want to know about Diane Von Furstenberg's spring dress collection or the new range of Chloe bags. I've listened to Futuresex/Lovesounds more times than I care to mention.
You see my point.
I would like Jason to come home at the end of the day and play a song on his guitar that goes something like "I wish my wife Heather would put down her magazine and tell me where she wants to go for dinnerrrrrr" and when I cut my eyes at him he'll say something like "What!?! I'm just playing a song. You've never heard that one before? Gosh, not everything's about YOU YOU YOU."
Then he'll play and sing along another line that goes something like "My wife is Heather Sanger and she's sitting here on the brown leather couch with me at our flat in Richmond just outside of Londoooonnnn. But she won't stop reading her Vogue January 2007 magazine and help me decide what movie to watch toniiiiiiight." And when I tell him to can it he'll say something like "Geez! I can't believe I'm not allowed to play songs on my guitar just because you've never heard them. It made the Billboard Hot 100 in like 2001 you know."
Then I'll roll my eyes but smile a little and say something like "Shut up. Let's go get Thai, you freak." And we'll go. And we'll eat Thai. And we'll talk about our days. And we'll come home and lay on the couch together until it's time to go upstairs and lay on the bed together. And we'll fall asleep with full tummies and warm feet and start all over again the next day.
So, yeah. I want my husband back now please.