The good news is that I got a new sweater.
The bad news is that you lost a sweater. To a horrific washing machine incident. It's literally half the sweater it used to be. I'm sorry.
Perhaps housewifery isn't my strong suit afterall. Good thing I'm cute and funny, right? Right?? Hellooooo?? Remember walrus tusk straws?? See, cute and funny!
And now, a moment of silence and a highlight reel in fond memory of Beige Sweater...
Beige sweater, you were always there for Jason. Even in the chilliest of weather. Here you are ice skating last December. What fun times you and Red Sweater must've had that fine evening.
And you always did love Christmas, Beige Sweater. You were a sucker for a warm fuzzy holiday. Poor Brown Sweater has locked herself in the closet, devastated at the news of your passing.
But you were so versatile, Beige Sweater! Here you are punting on the River Cam back in March, on an unseasonably mild early spring day. Grey Sweater also has fond memories of that lovely afternoon.
And you always knew just how to accessorize. This is you in Florence, after a full day of sightseeing, sitting down to a lovely dinner with Blue-and-White Striped Oxford the Third. (The names of those Oxford boys are always so pretensious and hyphenated, aren't they?)
And later on that evening, when the sun went down and there was a chill in the air, you were there just when you were needed most.
Rest in peace, Beige Sweater. For you have provided a lifetime of service during your all too short tenure in Jason's closet. Rest in peace.