Saturday, October 18, 2008

The treasure chest

This week, I've been doing some rearranging and cleaning out of our upstairs closets (otherwise known as the "portals to hell") and I came across a treasure chest.

Marked "FRAGILE", it contained, among other mementoes, my dried wedding bouquet, Jason's boutonniere, my veil and headband, a shoebox marked "H&J photos" and a small box containing a multitude of ticket stubs and cards and letters but most importantly, our first anniversary cards to each other.

And, of course, the wedding album.

This discovery set me back a good hour or two because I couldn't resist going through all the goodies.  

It was very timely as this Saturday, we celebrate our 5 year anniversary.  And although we've only been married for 5 years, we've actually been a couple for 13.  That's a lot of history.  As I flipped through some of the old cards, letters and photos that make up those 13 years, I was reminded of some difficult times.  There were lots of "I'm sorry" notes, which obviously imply that something was done which required an apology.  Don't get me wrong.  There have always been happy times.  As Charlotte said when Samantha asked her how often she was happy in her relationship, "Every day.  Maybe not all day every day, but yes - every day."  But there have definitely been periods when the happy times were fewer and farther between.  But every argument made us stronger.  Every shout was worth it if that's what it took to get us to this point.  

I know that everyone will be shocked (and by "shocked" I actually mean "saw this coming a mile away") to learn that this reminded me of a favorite Jason Mraz song.  While all songs are open to interpretation, I see this one as basically saying this:  We've been through a lot of shit.  But it was all worth it because look how great we are now.  And I wouldn't trade a single minute of it.

A Beautiful Mess

You've got the best of both worlds
You're the kind of girl who can take down a man 
And lift him back up again
You are strong but you're needy 
Humble but you're greedy
And based on your body language
And shoddy cursive I've been reading
Your style is quite selective
Though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests
That this is just what happiness is

And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve
You could call it fiction
But I like being submerged in your contradictions dear
'Cause here we are, here we are

Although you are biased I love your advice
Your comebacks, they're quick
And probably have to do with your insecurities
There's no shame in being crazy 
Depending on how you take these
Words I'm paraphrasing this relationship we're staging

And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blades
And kind and courteous is a life I've heard
But it's nice to say that we played in the dirt oh dear
Cause here we are, here we are
We're still here
What a beautiful mess this is
It's like taking a guess when the only answer is yes

Through timeless words and priceless pictures
We'll fly like birds, not of this earth
And tides they turn and hearts disfigure
But that's no concern when we're wounded together
And we tore our dresses and stained our shirts
But it's nice today, oh the wait was so worth it

So, to my Jason: I know I am full of contradictions and that some days with me might be a challenge. I know you look at my faults and see them as part of what makes me beautiful in your eyes. Thank you for seeing my temper as "passion". Thank you for seeing it as "vulnerability" when I whinge. Thank you for seeing me as "spontaneous" when I'm really just being flighty. And thank you for playing in the dirt with me.


geo said...

I love wedding pictures, yours are awesome! Thanks for sharing them with us. Happy Anniversary!

Alice said...

I'm currently waiting for my wedding album and going through about 1500 pictures on CDs from our photographer....seeing this made me me appreciate them even more. I love that 5 years later (or 13 years) you still want to drop everything and look at the momentos of your relationship and marriage. Happy Anniversary to both of you! Here's wishing you many, many more.

Raquel said...

OMG what a beautiful post. You were a gorgeous bride too. I love your dress. It is refreshing to see couples last the length that you have (13 years total). Congrats and Happy Anniversary to you and Jason! :)

Muz and Mo said...

Ahhh that is so lovely - happy anniversary to a great couple.
And wow those photos are gorgeous!! I look forward to seeing the whole album:)