Comics! Mr. Smarty Pants reads the comics!
I have no time for this nonsense**. I have important news to catch up on. What's this? Unemployment is on the rise?!? The stock market is in trouble?!? Hey, why's that big red graph plunging into oblivion?!? That can't be good. Aw, shit.
*For those of you who don't actually know Jason, please rest assured that this is a joke. While he is very smart indeed - he is most certainly not of the "smug smarty" variety.
**For those of you who don't actually know me, please know that this is also a joke. I'd rather read comics than the economy section of the paper any day.