Thursday, January 15, 2009

Stop trying to rebrand my city!

While we were in London, I'd occassionally get word from my friends back home that Raleigh was changing. Or trying to change, anyway. I kept hearing that people were starting to call the Glenwood South area 'GloSo', for example. In an attempt to create a 'SoHo' type of feel, I assume. I was all "Wha??? Seriously??? That's so f-ing lame."

Then I heard they were rebranding 'downtown' as 'uptown'. And I was all "Wha??? Seriously??? That makes no f-ing sense. It's either downtown or it's uptown and you don't get to just arbitrarily decide. It's determined by DIRECTION, am I right??? This is so f-ing lame."

This, however, was the biggest blow of all. Renaming North Raleigh (my 'hood) 'midtown'. The first time we saw it was on the website for a new hotel/luxury condo that was being built. It kept saying things like "Midtown Raleigh's only luxury highrise living destination" and "Live in ultimate style in Raleigh's Midtown" and "Mingle with hotel guests and fellow residents on the rooftop bar overlooking Midtown Raleigh".

I was all "Wha??? Seriously??? Don't you need an uptown and a downtown before you can have a midtown??? And what in the holy lord's name do they think they're overlooking?? Crabtree Valley Mall is what! Who wants to enjoy a cocktail and mingle while looking at Crabtree Valley Mall and its parking deck??? That's so f-ing lame. It'll never stick."

Well, it looks like the News & Observer (or the News & Disturber as it's affectionately called round these parts) has gotten behind this cause. We noticed when we moved back into our house that a newspaper was being thrown on our lawn every Wednesday. We never gave it much notice. To be honest - it usually ended up in the recycling pile, unread. Until yesterday morning...

Jason brought it inside on his way back home from the gym and we perused it while we had our coffee together. It was only then that we noticed the name of the paper:

GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! Whoever is behind this is going to such great lengths to rebrand us that they're willing to pay the N&O to deliver a free newspaper once a week.

Well, I say NO WAY. I'm not biting. And just as soon as I get a new Sharpie, I'm going to get up early every Wednesday and change the name on all the neighbors' papers too.

Raleigh, it pains me to do this because in my heart of hearts, you know I love you so. But you're getting a little too big for your britches. You're officially On Notice.


Catherine said...

Heloooooo. I know you are new here but it's been Midtown like forEVER. (surely you can imagine my tone of voice!) I'm on the fence. "North Raleigh" encompasses a massively large area and it no longer makes sense. When I ask people for North Raleigh recommendations I usually get answer of businesses around Crabtree and Brier Creek. This is not NR to me. Of course I probably don't get a vote because I'm just a county dweller. I cannot claim city life :(

MrsBlueberry said...

I totally agree with you that there must be an uptown AND a downtown before you can truly have a midtown. And oh how luxurious to overlook lovely Crabtree Valley Mall! I too have spent the last couple of years thinking this Midtown business is a load of crap. Get that sharpie out girl!

Heather said...

LIAR! It has not been Midtown like forEVER.

Plus, I stand by my argument that you can't have midtown without a downtown and uptown. Ridiculous.

Anyway, don't you live in like Virginia or something???
(Every time I make fun of you about where you live, the destination is going to get further north.)

Heather said...

MrsB - won't you join me in my Sharpie rebellion?

Tonya & Michael said...

I'm with you sister. Midtown is ridiculous... and I thought it was a mistake that they were sending the "Midtown News" to our house when we are all the way out by Umstead Park! WTF??? Are we "Midtown" too? If we're midtown, then I'm clearly misunderstanding the whole downtown/uptown distinction! Sharpie away!

Suze - Cheshire, UK said...

I'm personally organising a Sharpie AID benefit for you in support of your current territorial angst. Assuming the markers are not intercepted by guerilla Midtown para-military types, you should get them next week. Hopefully you will have enough to not only correct the offending propaganda, but in the style of the Northern Irish troubles, be able to start colouring the curbstones... just a thought.