Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The birthday whore's parting shot (for this year anyway)

As you guys know by now, my birthday started out pretty fabulously with Krispy Kreme and Louis Vuitton. It only got better when Beth and Rino arrived and we had an awesome lunch at The Flying Biscuit. Can I just say that I highly recommend the Southern Benedict? It's a biscuit (instead of an English muffin) topped with a chicken sausage patty (instead of ham), fried egg (instead of poached) and gravy (instead of hollandaise). You guys are aware that calories do not count on your birthday, right?

After lunch Beth and I took off to see Confessions of a Shopaholic while the boys worked (Rino) and worked out (Jason). Then we relaxed at the house for a while before heading out for my big birthday evening.

We had dinner at Solas, where Rino filled my memory card with shots like this:

Jason, Me and martini numero uno...

Notice anything funny about my yummy White Orchid Martini? Perhaps the lack of an ORCHID? Which they thought they could substitute with a STRAWBERRY and no one would notice? I ain't no fool. I am well aware that strawberries are far less costly than orchids. So naturally I questioned the waiter about my garnish. His response was kind of pathetic. "Yeah, the bar on this level is out of the orchids. I could go upstairs and get one from the bar up there if you want?" Umm, really waiter? I just ordered a drink that costs the same as three value meals from Wendy's. How about you truck your ass upstairs and GET ME MY DAMN ORCHID?

But did I actually say that? Of course not. Because, believe it or not, in some situations, I have absolutely no backbone. But Beth and Jason stepped up to the plate on my behalf. Beth was all "But it's her birthday!" and Jason was all "I'll go get her an orchid. Just tell me where." So of course the waiter realizes he can't really be sending dinner guests to get their own drink garnishes and comes back with a couple of orchids.

Which were edible! So of course we ate 'em. (P.S. Orchids taste like grass. Or what I would imagine grass tastes like, since I have never actually eaten grass.)

I'm going to send Rino to a support group for addiction to self portraits with other people's cameras.

Dinner at Solas was fantastic but the upstairs club was beyond lame. (I'd be willing to give the rooftop bar another chance once it's warm weather but that bit in the middle with its Night at the Roxbury music and glass dance floor [make sure to wear your knickers ladies!] was pitiful.)

So we made our way to the bar at Sushi Blues for more delicious cocktails and some quiet live jazz.

Now, when I say "more delicious cocktails", I really mean "Thebestcocktaileverofmywholelife! OMG! Nomnomnom!!!" I ordered a Sinatra martini and it truly tasted like a slice of key lime pie in a glass.

We spent Valentine's Day the best way we knew how - drinking and eating. First stop was Chick-Fil-A, where they were giving out flowers to all the lovely ladies (which we happily took) and also free brownie sundaes (which we sadly did not).

After lunch, we headed to Big Boss Brewery for a tour and tasting.

Less tour, more tasting... Hell's Belles!

My favorite Big Boss beer to drink is Hell's Belle Belgian Blond, but my favorite label is the Bad Penny. Love her 'fro with all the flowers!

The generous tastings begin to take their toll.

Then we headed to their pub upstairs and had such a good time that we only left because the line for the loos was about 25 deep. And those tastings were definitely catching up with us.


Then it was off to Krispy Kreme to soak up some of the beer with sugary fried dough.

Rino really thought they were going to start up the big donut conveyor but no luck.

I love the "donut in motion" in this picture.

We decided to go for a downtown Raleigh tour to walk off some of the beer and donuts.

Starting at City Market...


And moving on to Fayetteville Street...




Sunday morning we got up and put a hurtin' on some FatBoys - Jason's extra-special breafast creation. Even Beth and Rino (proud creators and purveyors of the McChief breakfast sandwich) admitted that it's pretty awesome. We all decided that there is room for the FatBoy and McChief to co-exist in harmony since they each represent their own geographic flavor - McChief bringing the northern flavor with the bagel and FatBoy rocking the southern style biscuit.

We only had a couple more hours before Beth and Rino's flight so we headed across the street for a walk around Lake Lynn. By God I was determined to catch the durkeys on film this time...

But we first ran into this guy who was positively desperate for some bread. He kept making these sad little honking noises (it sounded like the air being let out of a balloon or something) and stretching his neck way up to try and get our attention.

And the damn seagulls were apparently in from Wilmington for the weekend. They were everywhere!

All I was thinking was "Please don't let the seagulls poop on me. Please don't let the seagulls poop on me. Please don't let the seagulls poop on me. Please don't let the seagulls poop on me."

And last but not least.................... A DURKEY!!!!! The body of a duck and the face of a turkey. Told you so.

14 comments:

Beth N said...

Perhaps we should consider wearing different colors on different days next time? ;)

Heather said...

Ha ha! I know :)

Suze - Cheshire, UK said...

Dammit if that's not the weirdest creature I've ever clapped eyes on (platypus not withstanding). Can you send me one for my birthday? I want to freak the bejesus out of my dog. Thank you.

Heather said...

Suze, I will try but something tells me HM Customs/Royal Mail will not be pleased. Perhaps it might be best if you come to Raleigh and carry one back on your purse with you?

Rino said...

Man my self-portraits are really not flattering...

Catherine said...

You are such a whore. What kind of girl are you? Oh wait...you are "that" kind of girl. Loves you :)

Heather said...

"That" girl and proud of it, sistah. You know how we do.

Anonymous said...

Your "durkey" is actually a Muscovy Duck... and unfortunately they do not migrate to NC so, sadly, it was once someone's pet.
http://www.avianweb.com/muscovyduck.html

Anonymous said...

Hey, at least you can admit you're "that" kind of girl. Happy birthday!

Heather said...

Oooh, interesting about the ducks! But I think I might still call them durkeys, just because it's more fun.

However, I think their migratory patterns may have shifted because it's not just one of them at the lake - there are hundreds. They're all over the place!

Suze - Cheshire, UK said...

...or someone has a VERY large collection of them, which they have decided to keep in a public place.
I HEART DURKEYS

Melissa said...

We have a ton of durkeys (nice word) at our city park. They beg for food any time you visit the lakes there and they crap everywhere. My kids are scared of them, but like the calmer mallards.

Anonymous said...

What's in a white orchid martini?

Stephanie Y said...

Actually, there also are feral breeding populations of "durkeys" in North America in and around public parks in nearly every state of the USA and in the Canadian provinces....there's emus around where I live (California) so I would imagine it's more like people having brought animals over that just bred.

Also, fun times, beautiful pics of Raleigh!