Monday, March 30, 2009

Bluegrass, BBQ and Bloody Marys

Jason and I arose on Sunday and after drinking our coffee and reading the paper for a couple of hours, decided that we had a lot to do and that we'd better get on it.  We had a plan.  We would go get a bite to eat, go to Lowe's to see about getting some new floors for our bathrooms and then come back and work in the yard a bit.  Maybe I would put some flowers in our little planters...  Then we would go to the grocery store to do our weekly shop.  Well, you know what they say about plans.

We decided to go to Dos Taquitos for lunch since they have tables outside.  But we pulled up and they were closed.  So we figured we'd just head down to Glenwood and hit up Armadillo Grill for fresh burritos.  But when we hit the stoplight at Peace Street, I suggested salads at Mellow Mushroom.  (I know.  Who in their right mind goes to a pizza place and gets salad?  Trust.  You would too if you'd ever had a Mellow Mushroom salad with their Esperanza dressing.)

After our al fresco lunch, Jason suggested we head down to The Cupcake Shoppe and pick up a dessert for the evening.  It was such a beautiful day, we walked all the way down Glenwood and boy am I ever glad we did.  Because we passed by Brooklyn Heights bar and saw that they were going to have live bluegrass music and Bloody Marys in the front yard later in the afternoon.  We figured we'd drop in for a bit and check it out....  I mean, all the signs were leading us to this.  Dos Taquitos was closed for a reason.  I suggested a last second change of venue to MM for a reason.  Jason was craving a cupcake for a reason.  Damned if I was going to smite the gods who graciously lead us here.

We were so excited about that that we didn't even much care The Cupcake Shoppe turned out to be closed.  We just headed back down to the Turkish pastry place to kill some time before we went back to Brooklyn Heights.  (If you've ever seen that big purple Victorian house on Glenwood, that's the Turkish joint...)

No Jason was not high, we were just that relaxed.

After our baklava and Turkish tea, we headed back down Glenwood and came across this, appropriately enough, on the street in front of Solas.  Such a sad Sunday morning relic, dropped, stepped on and forgotten the night before...  Seems like you never make it home with all your bachelorette party accoutrement.  If I recall, my "Bachelorette" sequined sash got left at the apartment of one of Jason's groomsmen (where I ended up passing out because that's where Jason passed out earlier in the evening), only to be found months later by his new significant other.  Oops.  My bad.

Finally, it was Bloody Mary time.  This was, I swear on the Holy Bible, the best Bloody Mary I've ever had in all my life.  They start with homemade pepperoncini-infused vodka, add Zing Zang Bloody Mary Mix (available only online apparently), and top it off with fresh cracked pepper and worcestershire sauce.  But that's not all.  The crowning glory of this Bloody Mary is the celery salt and spice mixture that's on the rim of the cup.  I'm telling you, this drink will make you want to smack your mama.  I should know.  I had about four of them.  Maybe five.  I lost count.

So, you pay a $5 cover and you get live music and all-you-can-eat Eastern NC style BBQ chicken with fixins.  Granted, we had already eaten at MM so we only shared one plate but that's still a bargain in my book any day.  On a day as beautiful as yesterday, I would have easily paid $5 just for the music.  

Remember what I said about "dropping in and checking it out for a bit"?  Well, four hours and a farmer's tan later, Jason poured me into the car to go home.  

Remember what I said about "working in the yard a bit"?  Oh well.  The grass is still here today and still needs to be mowed and I sure as hell don't think it's going anywhere anytime soon.

Remember what I said about "going to the grocery store"?  Well, when we got home, I read about two pages of the third book in the Twilight saga before passing out face-first into my book and sleeping off my multi-Mary afternoon.  

So we got absolutely nothing of value done yesterday.  And I couldn't possibly care less.  It was 100% totally worth it.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Happy Twilight release day to you!

Happy Twilight release day to you!  Happy Twilight release day, dear Katie!  Happy Twilight release day to you!

Something about that little ditty seems off for some reason.  I can't quite put my finger on it though...

This past weekend, we went to Charlotte for Katie's birthday.  Well, that's what we're telling people anyway.  The real reason for the trip became apparent when Amy (Katie's mom) called on Friday and said "You've read Twilight, right?"  I said "Absolutely."  

Amy tells me that she just finished it and Jenny's currently plowing through it so the plan for Saturday evening is to procure a DVD copy of Twilight (by any means necessary) and have a viewing and book discussion after the girls go to bed.  We then gush about how much we're in love with Edward and whether or not it's weird for a 30-something woman to fervently wish she were back in high school and in love with a smokin' hot vampire.  (We came to the conclusion that it is perfectly acceptable.  Jason has a different opinion.)

So, since Katie's birthday fell on Twilight release day, we had to go along with whole "birthday party" charade.  (I kid, I kid.)  She had a jewelry-making party with her girlfriends.

And of course, Anna had to hang with the big girls.  We were amazed she stuck with it and didn't get bored.  She needed a little help with the little tiny beads though.  Super Aunt's nimble fingers save the day.

Hey kid, hurry up for crissakes!  Move it!  Move it!  We've got lots of vampire lusting to do.  (I kid, I kid.)

Once the birthday festivities were over and the little girls were bathed and put to bed, the big girls got down to the business at hand.  So imagine, if you will, watching a couple hours worth of an extraordinarily sexy Edward Cullen use his brute strength, exceptional speed and cat-like reflexes to rescue Bella from various mishaps and then walking upstairs to go to bed and finding this:

Your husband curled up in a pink room, under a pink quilt, with his head resting on a fuzzy pink pillow.  That was a pretty jarring "welcome back to reality".  Jenny and I were nearly rolling on the floor we were laughing so hard.

Thanks for letting us borrow your room, Katie.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Self Edit: Off

Have you ever craved a fountain drink?  I occasionally do and when I get that craving, nothing else will do.  Not a Diet Coke in a can.  Not a Diet Coke in a bottle. Not even a Diet Coke poured into a glass of ice.  Simply put, no other beverage will do.  There's just something about a fountain drink. 

Well I woke up this morning craving that sweet fizzy elixir so on my way to my nannying gig, I stopped at McDonald's.  When I pulled up to the drive-thru, the girl on the speaker thingy goes "Good morning!  Would you like to try a hot chocolate?"  

I actually responded "Ugh.  Nothing sounds worse to me right now." 

Perhaps I should switch on my "self edit" function before I deal with the general public.

McDonald's drive-thru girl, I'm sorry.  It wasn't personal.  

(Side note:  I hate this new "Welcome to our fast food joint!  Would you like to try {insert beverage or food item here}?" thing.  Listen, I just pulled up to a McFreakinDonalds.  I've got something in mind that I want.  Lay off.)

Wednesday, March 18, 2009


You know you are way too into America's Next Top Model when you're brushing your teeth in the morning and catch a glimpse of yourself all hunched over the sink in your robe with one hand on the hip and think "Miss Jay would so love my 'broken down doll' right now."

Monday, March 16, 2009


Oh the joys of insomnia... I started reading New Moon (the second book in the Twilight series) last Thursday evening and just got to the meat of the story tonight. I won't ruin it for anyone who hasn't gotten to it yet, but it gets very meaty indeed around page 233. Next thing I know, it's 12:30 so I force myself to put it down.

However, I could not fall asleep. So instead of lying there on my stomach, counting the number of times I could turn my ankles in circles before it started to hurt (yes, really), I decided to take the opportunity to catch up on a quick post before I face the next few days without my laptop. And though Jason has generously offered up his company-issued Dell (with a f**ked up UK keyboard) during the evenings when he won't need it, it's hardly the same as having my sleek, silver PowerBook by my side. Therefore, I start the week in mourning. So, let's talk about that...

I mentioned on Friday that I was taking her to the Mac genius bar for a little check-up after Jason dropped her on her plug (reason number 544 we should never have children) last week. What an experience that turned out to be. My first appointment was at Crabtree Valley Mall and "Hey lady! You want the good news or the bad news first?!? Well, the good news is that it's a simple repair and we have the part in stock and we could fix it in-house instead of sending it out, which would cost a lot more! The bad news, however, is that this particular store is closing for rennovations and we're not taking anymore repair orders until we re-open in mid to late April, depnding on the construction schedule and we all know how reliable those are, right?!? Ha ha ha, ho ho ho. But you could try the store at Southpoint. I don't know if they have the part or if they'll do it in-house but you can try!"

I start to cry.

"Can you call them and find out before I go all the way out there? Please?" "I could, but they don't answer their phone during busy times. But you can use one of the display computers to make an appointment with their genius bar!"

I cry harder.

But I get an appointment for 7:45 that evening and drive to Durham. "Hey lady! You want the good news or the bad news first?!? Well, the good news is that it's a simple repair and we can fix it in-house instead of sending it out, which would cost a lot more! The bad news, however, is that, first, we don't have the part in stock so we'll have to order it (and no, they can't get it from Crabtree - believe me, I asked) and second, the Crabtree Valley store is closing for rennovations and we're getting all their overflow repair orders so turnaround time is 7 to 10 days after we get your part in."

I cry again.

But this time, something extraordinary happens. My WWBD (What Would Blair Do - as in Blair Waldorf of Gossip Girl) reflex kicks in and I ask "Can I pay more to get it back faster?? I'll do it! You just name your price, mister!" And of course you can pay to jump the queue. There's always a way for annoying elitists like me to get things done quicker by throwing money at the situation.

So the morals of the story are:
1) Don't let anyone put their PC-handling paws on your Mac, lest they drop it
2) Watch Gossip Girl regularly for loads of life-lessons from Blair Waldorf
3) When life throws you lemons, throw money back

In other news, our Lexus got hit today. Wonderful. Luckily, Jason wasn't in it so nothing to worry about there. The girl who hit it wasn't hurt, just incredibly upset, according to Jason. (With reason - afterall, she did just slam into a LARGE WHITE PARKED SUV. Good grief.) But, we can't complain really. She had good insurance so there shouldn't be any problems. Fingers crossed for a painless repair...

And in our entertainment section, I would like to extend a hearty thanks to Tracy Morgan for bringing back Brian Fellow's Safari Planet on SNL this weekend. It was truly a bright spot amidst a pile-of-shit-weekend. "That cow is uppity! Someone needs to remind that cow she's a cow!"

Friday, March 13, 2009

I'll be brief

I'm conserving my laptop battery because (condensed version of events here) Jason droppy, now plug thingy no worky.  I've got an appointment at the Mac genius bar this evening so hopefully they fixy.  But for now, I'm writing on my iPhone.  Tons of fun.

Anyway, I had an utterly and totally random thought...

Anyone think it odd that as a child, I was allowed to watch shows like Miami Vice and movies like Rambo but not allowed to watch MTV?  Sure, all the Miami beach bunnies in string bikinis and violence and drugs and guns and were mine for the taking but holy rollers, do not let her clap eyes on a musician with long hair and tattoos!  She might burst into flames at church on Sunday!

Yes, odd.

Sunday, March 08, 2009

It's gettin' hot in here

Lest you thought I was exaggerating when I said last week that Mother Nature had lost her damn mind, here be proof:

Yes, that's right. It snowed last Monday and the thermometer broke 80 degrees this weekend. So we did what North Carolinians do best. We got outside and picniced, played and barbequed.

And the infamous Katie and Anna were also in town so that made the weekend even more funnerer. If nothing else, they certainly know how to work a crowd. (Yes, they had a dance party at Shelly Lake. On top of a picnic table.)

I think Jason and Liam are starting to look a little bit alike, though I can't quite put my finger on exactly what it is...

Hint - it's the HAIR.

Then we told Nana we would take Katie back to our house for a nap but we really snuck her out to Ben & Jerry's and then went to our house where Katie and I watched Legally Blond together, played "What Not to Wear" (she helped me pick out my outfit for dinner) and did makeovers (she repeatedly stabbed my eyelids and cheeks with various makeup brushes). That's totally the same thing as napping, right??

Sunday, we all gathered back at Nana's for barbequed ribs. Jason worked off his ribs by running circles around the cul-de-sac with Katie and Anna and the bigwheel.

And playing soccer in the back yard...

Katie wore herself out and had to play spectator with me.

There are definitely benefits to playing the fun aunt and uncle role. We can basically do no wrong. Anna has started telling anybody who will listen that she wants to come live with us. In fact, last week she got mad and told Joe, Amy and Katie that she was leaving. They asked her where she was going and she said "Raleigh". They asked her where she would live and she said she was going to live at Jason's house. They told her they would miss her and then she went upstairs to pack. She eventually came back downstairs after a while and entered the living room with her arms out and said "Ta-daaaaaaa! I'm back!" Now that's showmanship.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Unhand that quesadilla

Jason was out of town on Wednesday night and if you know anything about me, you know that means one thing: frozen dinner.  So I threw a Weight Watchers quesadilla in the microwave and waited for the magic to happen.  Two minutes is a pretty long time to watch a quesadilla come to life so I started reading the box.  It was then I noticed the italicized post script to step 1:

They might as well have said "Hey there, Fatty McButterbutt.  I know your kind.  You thought that just because there are two quesadillas in this box that you're supposed to actually eat two quesadillas.  I mean, they sure as shit don't serve up just one quesadilla at TGI Applebee's Steakhouse, right?  They serve 'em up by the metric ton or something.  On their JAMMIN' SLAMMIN' ALL YOU CAN EAT LEANING TOWER O' QUESADILLAS PLATTER!!!  Well, here's a little tip for you:  You're not supposed to eat ALL YOU CAN EAT.  It ain't right.  So how about you just slowly back away from that second quesadilla and return it to the freezer.  Nice and slow.  Keep your hands where I can see 'em, pal."

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Open up, ma'am. We're here to take custody of your blog.

Because clearly, I can't take care of it. I think Blogger social services will be knocking at my door any minute now. Never has my blog suffered from such a severe case of neglect.

Oh well...such is life. Mine is very very busy at the moment but currently, my little charge is a bit under the weather and is more interested in watching Dora and playing Wii games than running around the playroom at top speed or making Play-Doh cookies so I'll take the rare opportunity to introduce my backside to the couch cushion and utilize my wi-fi.

Sunday we met up with Jenny and Ryan and wee Liam for lunch. I present to you, the many faces of Liam:

Hey big person, didn't you get the memo? Today was supposed to be my day to wear the froggy leafy grassy color.

Hey, you - other big person. Yeah you - the one with the fancy picture-taking talky-talky thing in your paw. Get a load of this one. She's all "tickle tickle" on mah belleh.

You gonna eat that onion ring?

Woah. Dude. Your thumb is like elevendity grillion times bigger than mines. It's a monster thumb! Arrgghhhh! Don't eat mah little bebeh thumb, monster thumb!

Monday morning, we woke up to a friggin' winter wonderland. In March. Thanks Mother Nature. (Bitch.)

And, just because Mother Nature stopped taking her valium, it's going to be in the high 70's this weekend. From boots and gloves to flip flops and tees, all in a span of about 6 days.