You see, without going into too much detail, the 'Canes got their asses handed to them last night in Shitsburgh (Again, sorry...I know it's a cheap shot but as I have said before...it's hockey season. We can be friends in July.) I was so mad that as we were leaving the Carolina Ale House, I took a swing at some festive red, black and white balloons. I really wanted to wrestle them to the ground and punch them till they all busted but thought better of it. Personally, I could do without being hauled down to the big house for assault on party supplies, wearing my 'Canes number 17 tee and face tatts.
I'm sure you must be a hockey fan. Please give Cam Ward his mojo back. Please lay your miracle hands on Tuomo Ruutu's foot. Please give Erik Cole a shoulder made of titanium so that he may forecheck Crosby and Malkin into next century. (And if you have time, maybe see that Cooke is afflicted with a venereal disease of some kind?) Please give the refs a collective conscience. Please do whatever you can to right the wrongs from this series. Please let the good guys win.
If you can help with these simple requests, I promise to be a very good girl and not ever make bad words out of our opponents' cities' names again.
(Man, that was so beautiful, I almost want to make a cross-stitch out of it and give it out for Christmas gifts.)