Thursday, March 11, 2010

I got your Twitter right here

I'm having a bit of tech backlash. It's weird, but all the sudden I feel very overwhelmed by all the "social media" noise. Between Twitter, Buzz, Digg, Stumble Upon, Facebook, Flicker, Technoratti, RSS, Reddit, YouTube, blogs, discussion boards and all the billion other's just too much. Not that I even use even a fraction of them. But just knowing they're all there freaks me out.

And don't even get me started on comment threads. I'm convinced that's where the truly stupid people of this world live. If you don't believe me, just try reading the comments section of any popular humor or gossip website. If you can make it past the first five without part of your brain rotting and oozing out of your eye sockets, I'll give you my Louis Vuitton bag collection.

Thanks to Facebook every organization, every event, every product, every damn thing in the world has a page. (No way! You're a fan of "summer" and a member of the group "I love the beach"?!!??!!? Wow! That's so unique!)

Thanks to Twitter every idiot with a phone thinks people care that they're walking their dog. (Newsflash: WE SO DON'T.)

Thanks to this text generation, we are now living with a subset of people who actually think "ur" is the proper spelling of "your" and that it's okay to shorten "great" to "gr8". (Are you there, Shakespeare? It's me, Heather.)

And is it just me or are there simply way too many humor websites? (Most of which, by the by, aren't even funny.)

I'm feeling a very strong urge to simplify. I recently cut way back on the websites I subscribe to because life is way too short to spend your time reading only marginally funny (at best) material. I hid so many people from my Facebook newsfeed that I basically see roughly twenty people's activity. Despite the fact that I do have an account, I've only ever really followed one thing on Twitter (I'll give you three guesses and the first two don't count.) and I've never actually Tweeted. Yet, a big part of me wants to just disconnect from everything.

A blackout.

A media cleanse.

(I'll probably wake up later in a cold sweat screaming "You can take my life but you'll never take my Facebook! FREEEEEEDOOOOOOOM!")

Yes, I just got all Braveheart on your asses.

In reality, what will probably happen now is that I'll continue using Facebook but still roll my eyes when someone I know becomes a fan of "Vacations". I'll continue to follow the 'Canes on Twitter since I enjoy the scoring updates when I can't watch the games, but I still won't Tweet. I'll continue reading what I consider to be the really funny stuff but I'll avoid looking at the comments lest I gauge my eyes out with flash memory sticks.

And I suppose I'll get around to blogging about last weekend, which was most fantastic, at some point or another. But right now I'm hungry. And I just discovered that Belgium now has Sun Chips. Which means I have about eight bags to eat my way through.


Beth said...

In February I did a huge online clean out - hid people, broke connections, removed links, organised lists, etc. I feel so much better now that I am really and truly only connected with the people I want to be connected with, and in the way I want to do it. I'm totally onboard with the idea of a blackout/cleanse!

andrea said...

Now I feel bad I asked you to become a fan of my new page :)

And the comments on those sites are so ridiculous because the first 100 are people saying 'First!', because it is clearly so important to be the first person to comment on Perez!

Heather said...

No way Andrea! There's actual value in pages like yours. Plus, I'm always happy to spread the word for my real friends' endeavors. Sooooo not the type of thing I'm referring to here.

Now, if you suggest I become a fan of your local Gymboree class, then I might have to re-evaluate you ;-)

Ashely said...


I am gradually cleaning up my reader as well. I need to sit down one day and purge.

PS - I think your blog is one of the funniest out there so you will stay. :)

Alice said...


'Nuff said. (But unlike most of the idiots out there...I do know that the correct usage is: Enough.)


Preach on, girl. Preach on. (You do this journalism/English major proud!)

Vegemite Wife said...

Ur gr8. :)

Alexandra Taylor said...

Whoa! There's SunChips in Belgium? Where'd ya find them??


Heather said...

Alex - I initially spotted them at a highway-side gas station on o road trip. But now I've seen them at my Delhaize on Anspach.

They're actually called Sun Fields here and they're made by Smith's (the people who make Bugles and some other savory snacks). I'm certain they're the same product. The look the same (little wavy rectangles) and taste the same (freakin' delicious).

Good luck finding them! They're a godsend for me :)

Alexandra Taylor said...

Thanks for the tip Heather! Snack food here is disappointing to say the least, although I was abnormally excited (i.e. getting strange looks) when I discovered wasabi peas.