Friday, March 11, 2011

Party in the USA...The Raleigh Chronicles

I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed with blog content now that I've recommitted myself (again) to writing more often. So I'm just going to start with the biggest event of our recent history and work my way from there. Okay? Okay.

If you read Suze's blog, you may already know that Jason did her pretty much the ultimate solid by upgrading her to business class for her trip across the pond. Flying the fancy skies, indeed!

So you can imagine it was quite a shock to her senses when she got to her room and saw the conditions under which she would be living for the next several days.

The evening of Suze's arrival was very low key, you know, due to the jetlag and all. Also due to the fact that I had a few weeks' worth of Jersey Shore on the DVR. We settled in for some pizza and teeeeee-shirrrrrrt tiiiiiiime and all was right with the world.

Tuesday night, the plan was to introduce Suze to the world of hockey. We reckoned it would be best to throw her right in and got some pretty decent seats. Well hello team bench.

We were so excited to see some crushing checks and maybe even a fight or two, we could hardly contain ourselves! Our bloodlust is obvious, no? (Who wins this Hair Off: Ponytail Edition? Me. Of course. Because of my snappy red headband. Duh. Winning.)

Finally, it was time to get crunk. Remember how I mentioned we had pretty decent seats? Well hello Cam Ward, Stanley Cup winning All-Star goaltender.

Suze even developed a little crush on number 44, Jay Harrison. (And is it just me, or does Patrick Dwyer seem to be part ghost?)

Oh, and remember how I mentioned we had pretty decent seats? Well hello Jeff Skinner, leading rookie in the NHL and youngest player in history to play in an All-Star Game.

It didn't take long for things to get chippy. Suze's love for 44 grew by leaps and bounds when she saw him go a few rounds with Milan Lucic. Looks like someone had their tigerblood for breakfast!

We had no idea what this conversation was about but it sure looked to be an interesting one.

Unfortunately, things were not going so well for the home team.

Time out Carolina. STRATEGERY!

Alas, whatever Ron Francis was cooking up in the photo above didn't work and the Canes dropped one to the Bruins. However, I'm not blaming it on the team. No no. I blame it on Suze. You know how she's a bad luck magnet for shitty weather? Well, here are the facts:

1. We take Suze to the Bruins game. We lose.
2. We take Suze to Carolina Ale House to watch the Leafs game. We lose.
3. Jason and I get wi-fi on our flight to Colorado and sit way across the aisle from Suze, listening to the Thrashers game without her. We win.
4. We watch the Devils game with Suze and Phil in Breckenridge. We lose.
5. We watch the Flyers game with Suze and Phil in Breckenridge. We lose.
6. We watch the Thrashers game alone once Suze is safely tucked away on another continent. We win.

I'm not saying anything. But I'm just saying...

On Wednesday, I continued my quest to pump Suze full of all Raleigh's best culinary delights. And since proper Mexican food DOES NOT EXIST in the United Kingdom, I knew it was my duty to give her the good stuff. Cantina 18 in Cameron Village knows what's up. Suze didn't know the difference between an enchilada, a quesadilla and a burrito but she was sure as hell familiar with these.

Wednesday night was gig night at Lincoln Theatre. We were rather enamored with the first opening act, Andrew Allen.

So enamored, in fact, was Suze that she ran to the merch table - like a preteen chasing a Bieber - as soon as the band left the stage. She came back looking very smug and showed me this photo.

Not to be outdone, I ran to the merch table like, well, like a preteen me chasing the New Kids and got a photo of my own. I returned looking even more smugger than Suze. (Smugger is probably not a real word. But it should be.)

Well, Suze's competitive nature reared its ugly head and she ran back to the merch table like Charlie Sheen chasing hookers. And she returned looking the smugest of all. (Smugest is also probably not a word. But also should be.) I gave up after this because the headliner was due out any minute and, truthfully, I was a little scared of what she might do to try and top me.

And the main event...Joshua Radin. He did not disappoint.

After Suze and I took turns assaulting a vending machine for Fritos and Reece's Pieces (I think? Suze, feel free to jump in here.) Jason decided no trip to Raleigh is complete without a stop at Krispy Kreme. I never fail to be awestruck by the doughnut conveyor belt.


Doughnut makers everywhere, we salute you.

And here it is. I've said before that every single time Suze and I get together, there is a photo of us totally cracking up.

And here's where my past indiscretions catch up with me. You might remember that time Suze visited us in Brussels and Jason fell asleep first so we decided to try that old hand-in-warm-water slumber party prank on him. Well, my bad. I fell asleep first and Jason wanted to get me back.

Again, it didn't work. But I love how Elwin just sat there on my lap and watched him, without so much as a warning meow for me.

When they were done torturing me, they turned their attentions to Elwin. Who, you should know, does not care for hats of any kind.

You know it was a good night when you wake up with a wristband.

And you know it's a good day when there's Chick-Fil-A.

The American adventure continues with a chick flick matinee and very American sized refreshments. Suze was pretty horrified at the bucket of Coke they handed her.

We even cooked up a storm that afternoon. (With some "mother's little helpers" in the background....)

As you already know, the Hurricanes lost this game to Toronto, but the night wasn't a total wash because we got our picture with Big Mike. (Plus, I totally win another Hair Off. By my count, that's Me - 3, Suze -0.)

For our final trick before we head west, we decide to go bowling at the fancy new alley across the street. Well, it wasn't so much us as it was our alter egos - Dre Doctor, Noodles Mahoney and Babs McCoy.

So from Babs, Dre and Noodles...we bid you farewell for now. See you in Colorado!

P.S. Sorry for the Charlie Sheen references. I hate that he's culturally relevant for being a jackass but come ON! TIGERBLOOD? HIGH PRIEST VATICAN ASSASSIN WARLOCK??? DUH. WINNING. It's too good to leave alone.


andrea said...

I am pretty sure Suze isn't bad luck, but rather the Thrashers really suck, hence them always losing. Atlanta is not proud.

I love that you gave her the best the South has to offer - CFA!

The Tune's said...

Looks like Part 1 of the trip was a success (except for the Hurricanes).

Sara said...

Looks like a great time! Can't wait to see what ya'll got up to in CO! Hope you guys enjoyed it!

Alice said...

This made me laugh out loud. A lot. Yay, you're back! (I hope???)

Vegemite Wife said...

For the record, I did NOT have a go on the vending machine that night - it was all you. I've got a blog post to prove it... (coming riiiight up!)
Andrea - I think I might be bad luck with weather an sports. I'm thinking of hiring myself out to countries needing rain.